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Saturday, September 27, 2003

Landfillscape

Here's a copyedited version of a silly post I sent to my hiptop Nation moblog yesterday after some heavy duty housework:

landfill.jpg


A Tourist's Guide to the Quarantine Road Municipal Landfill

landfill_seagulls.jpgVisitors to Baltimore (and even most natives) have yet to discover this well-kept secret of a scenic overlook. If you're looking for a rustic getaway that offers a breathtaking (actually hold your breath...) view of the entire Baltimore skyline and the eastern shipyards, this is the place for you and yours.

Located right on the southern tip of the city, The Quarantine, as we've lovingly named it, is readily accessible from the Beltway or from the harbor if you have access to a tug boat or waste barge. The location is wonderfully secluded by a series of earthen mounds and moats that line the perimeter. When you arrive at the entrance, the helpful "concierge," exuding professionalism with his hard hat and orange DPW uniform, cheerfully directs you to the correct dirt access road. Drive in about a mile and you’ll find yourself at a nice parking spot that is kept clear by cheerful yellow earth moving equipment.

One of the first things you notice, besides the "aromatic" atmosphere, is the thousands of seagulls that swarm around the indigenous fauna. It should be a delight for birdwatchers who can study how these happy, yappy creatures enthusiastically scavenge for food.

landfill_truck.jpgSurrounding you is all manner of interesting artifacts of human civilization: Antique furniture, vintage clothing, classic cars, historically significant office equipment, and much more are piled high waiting for inspection. This treasure hunter's paradise is replenished at a rate of 1,300 tons a day via a steady stream of trucks. I imagine Martha Stewart would find profound inspiration here.

Being rustic, The Quarantine is light on amenities. Besides the attractive avocado green Port-A-Potties, there aren't many creature comforts and the only option for food is to compete with the seagulls. We suggest you pack a picnic basket and bring beer and wine in a cooler. But the greatest charm of this little-known outdoor hotspot is that you can leave your garbage anywhere to be cleaned up in style by city workers driving heavy equipment.

Mike's Rating: *** (out of five * -- fewer stars if it's raining)
Budget: $$ (out of five $)
We got out of the place for only $64.50 for two people and we left .69 tons of garbage!

I was, in part, inspired by this old City Paper essay. Also: How Landfills Work.

11:50 PM in Baltimore | Permalink

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Comments

Please call me. I am interested in some of your pictures. 410-244-1010.

Thanks
David B.

Posted by: David at Jan 13, 2004 4:54:07 PM